The NBA in 2019 almost seems like more of a soap opera than an actual professional sports league. Every week there is big news coming out of the league, and very rarely does it ever pertain to on-court activities. Whether it be players making ridiculous tweets, demanding trades, or wearing wild outfits, there is a never ending carousel of drama. Even on the brink of the biggest NFL weekend of the year, Super Bowl weekend, the NBA is dominating headlines thanks to Anthony Davis. Some news that comes out of the NBA even seems to good to be true and that is why you are here today. Let’s take a look at some NBA conspiracy theories that may explain such phenomena.
Joel Embiid is a Monstar
Woah! What? You’re saying the Sixers All-Star center has been taken over by aliens from Moron Mountain who haven’t been heard from since 1996? Not exactly. Embiid is a new form of a Monstar. Before I get ahead of myself, let’s take a look back at Embiid’s history.
Joel Embiid grew up in Cameroon and didn’t touch a basketball until the age of 15. In fact, he had planned on playing professional volleyball in Europe until he was discovered at a basketball camp by NBA player Luc Mbah a Moute. Embiid grew to an astonishing seven feet tall and moved to the United States to be a hooper. After spending a year at Kansas, he was drafted third overall to the tanking 76ers, led by GM Sam Hinkie. Embiid went on to miss both of his first two NBA seasons and a majority of his third. At this point, Sam Hinkie was willing to do anything to see his process succeed, including placing a curse on his star big man. Ever since Embiid’s emergence as an NBA All-Star, Sixers rookies Ben Simmons, Markelle Fultz, and Zhaire Smith have all been plagued with injuries and missed their entire rookie seasons. Coincidence? I think not. Embiid sucks the powers out of his rookies and uses it to become the most dominant big man in the NBA.
Michael Jordan Rigged the All Star Game
Last week, the NBA All-Star starters were announced and were pretty much as expected – with one exception. Kemba Walker was selected as a first-time All-Star starter over 76ers superstar Ben Simmons. All of the major media members and knowledgeable fans alike were in agreement the Eastern Conference starters should have been Kyrie Irving, Ben Simmons, Giannis Antetokounmpo, Kawhi Leonard and Joel Embiid. So the question must be asked: why was Kemba chosen? For starters, look at the location. All-Star weekend is located in Charlotte for the first time since 1991. Charlotte, you say? The franchise owned by Michael Jordan, the man with the most pull of anyone in the National Basketball Association? With the team’s lack of recent success, you would think Jordan would want a hometown player participating in the big game. Not only would this boost fan attendance at All-Star weekend and increase revenue, it could also sway his star player, Kemba Walker, to remain in Charlotte for the long haul.
The Mavericks Will Have an All-Euro Starting Lineup in 2020
This one isn’t really a conspiracy theory, it’s more just my wishful thinking of something that’s never been done before. With that said, there are a couple ways this could play out. The Mavericks already have four Europeans on the team in Luka Doncic, Kristaps Porzingis, Dirk Nowitzki, and Maxi Kleber. Dirk is likely on his way out following this season, but Kristaps and Luka are locked in to the starting lineup, with the possibility of Kleber as well. That’s three down, so who could fill the other two spots?
Ricky Rubio is being involved in trade talks to Memphis for Mike Conley. This move would initiate a rebuild in Memphis and Rubio could easily be redirected to a third team. Who better than the Dallas Euro-Mavs? Aside from Rubio, Mark Cuban and company could set their sights on UFA Bojan Bogdanovic, Dario Saric, or Tomas Satoransky. While all this is exciting, Harrison Barnes would still be in the starting lineup, so this scenario is unlikely barring a trade or injury (hopefully not) to the former Golden State Warrior.
The Pacers Curse of the Palace
This is a theory unlike the others, in that it is a long-standing curse that has plagued one of the smallest market teams in the NBA, the Indiana Pacers. The Pacers have been a perennial title contender while never actually bringing home the gold. Think back to the ’90s when Reggie Miller and company were a persistent threat in the East, but could never quite seal the deal. After their decade of shortcomings, something catastrophic happened to the franchise. Just when the Pacers seemed poised to make a title run with the likes of Ron Artest, Reggie Miller and Jermaine O’Neal, they were abruptly stopped due to the Malice at the Palace, which would cast bad karma on the team for the next two decades. Ever since the notorious brawl, Pacer’s superstars have been torn from their prime with injuries more than any other team in the league. Danny Granger’s career was littered with nagging knee injuries that prevented him from ever reaching his true potential. Granger was replaced by Paul George who had a gruesome leg injury at a team USA scrimmage in 2014. Most recently, Victor Oladipo suffered a torn quadriceps tendon just days before being selected to his second All-Star appearance. The Curse of the Palace is a real thing, the only question is – when will it stop?